3:12am - Cannot Sleep Blog (It Won't Be The First)

As the title states, it is currently 3:12 a.m. and I can't for the life of me get to sleep. It's been a reoccurring problem for a little over a week now. I am so very much tempted to take some of the left over pain medication I have to try and aid this problem, but I'd really rather not. It's funny to me in my particular situation how you can go all day without it being a problem, but as soon as the time you want to sleep rolls around, you can't stop your mind from racing. And in particular, thoughts of things I'd really rather not think of. I just yawned...how frustrating. It was the super bowl about 5 hours ago, the Pittsburgh Steelers won. I've been to Pittsburgh once.

I was contemplating a lot of song lyrics as I was lying on my back in my bed staring at the sealing. (No that's not part of any, but I can't really turn it off). Anyway, I was just skirting the issue of the emotion we call love. Not for any reason in particular....well not for any reason I am willing to share at this time.

Random thought: there are a lot of cars driving up and down Route 82 at 3:20 in the morning, just something I observed from my window, as it faces the street.

Anyway, yeah, love.... Well love is such a tricky emotion. I was thinking about it long and hard, which if you haven't done lately or ever, that might be where you are going wrong. Love to me isn't just an Emotion...it's an Omni-motion. Love is the only emotion that could make you feel every other emotion possible, and some even at the same time. Love can make you happy, of course, but love can make you sad, it can make you angry, worried, scared, excited. Love can even make you Hate... Now for most human beings reading this, trust me, I DO REALIZE that I did not just "split the atom" by stating these thoughts on love, they are just my thoughts that someone else MAY have had, only difference is that I now write my thoughts in a blog.

So no, I don't see myself to be an expert on the topic of love, far from it, because that person doesn't exist. And if he or she does God bless them, because I wouldn't want that achievement. Nope, I'd rather play it cool and figure it out along the way. And I'm not even talking about love between two people, I'm purely speaking in generalities here. I love lamp.

Ah yeah, and the lyrical writing, well I'm not so sure on what I have floating in my head this moment. Not nearly enough for me to share with anyone just yet. But looking back on all the lyrics and poems and mushy stuff I've written, I have realized that I wrote a lot of worthless crap that should have never been put to music or played on stage in front of an audience. But such is life, you live in the moment, and you regret it later. The past is the past.

Speaking of the past, I found some amusing memorbilia from the band I was in, (unlikely heroes). One such piece was a biography I wrote for us that I was planning on sending to A&R reps along with a demo to try and get us signed.
(the usual "I'm in a band" crap....yanno stuff that if you were at a public place, say a party, and some douche bag who was in a local band was there, he would probably say it JUST loud enough for people to hear to make it seem like he was important or cool or new the whole jargin of the music business....pitiful)
But I noticed a little gem I wrote at the bottom of the page, that was there for really no apparent reason. It was a statement I made up in regards to "the future of the band". And it goes something like this....

People often wonder what the future holds for them. This train of thought leaves an impression of a lack of control. For me, the future holds nothing, because I hold the future, in the palm of my hand.

With this, it would make more sense to say at my fingertips, for I have decided to revert to a few old habits and use the spare time I have to see what I come up with.

Goodnight